Invasion of personal privacy by controlling parents?
Ahh…where to begin. Well first let me start off and say that I’m 20 years old and pretty calm compared to today’s standards. I’m in school for nursing, I don’t drink or do drugs and I’m still a virgin. I’ve never done anything that I regret or even given my parents and single doubt that they shouldn’t trust me.
Since about 5th grade, I have been keeping a journal. When writing I can truly express how I’m feeling and all the drama surrounding my life. I’ve never been so good with telling people my feelings or even showing them. That’s why I enjoyed writing so much, it was one of the only things that made me happy.
In my journal I’ve written about every aspect of my life. From school, work, crushes, boyfriends and even sexual relationships that I’ve had. In particular, I’ve started getting close with a friend who I’ve known for about two years. In my journal I’ve talked about dating him and our first kiss and things we’ve done in the sexual aspect of it.
Well turns out my step-dad has been going into my room and reading my journals, going through my cell phone and just down right invading my privacy in every single way imaginable. It gets way worse though… Not only has he been reading about the guy I’m seeing now and the things I’ve done with him but he’s going to my mother and telling her that he’s hearing people talk about me. When in reality its just him reading my stuff.
I’m so lost and confused and hurt. I don’t see how he can read my stuff and then have the nerve and look me at me in the eye everyday and act as if everything is normal. What do I do?? I want to talk to them and tell them it’s wrong for going through my stuff. But I know he’ll bring up the things I’ve done with my bf. Which in all honestly, I’m 20, I’ve known my bf for 2yrs, it’s not like I’m some easy whore. I care about him and he feels the same. But it’s embarrassing knowing that he knows everything about my life. My life is my life, for me to live.
He doesn’t have interest in reading it?? He’s been going into my room and reading my journal since god knows when… months maybe…
Tagged with: bf • boyfriends • cell phone • doubt • drugs • feelings • first kiss • journals • keeping a journal • nerve • parents • sexual aspect • sexual relationships • single way • step dad • virgin • whore
Filed under: Personal Privacy Rights
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Move out. I mean your 20 years old, your old enough to live on your own. Maybe you and your BF can get a place together. I moved out when I was 19, got my own place, a job and went to school. I honestly believe that what your step dad did was just down right disrespectful. You are a grown adult, and a VIRGIN for christ sakes! I mean you don’t drink or do drugs, your in school…you seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders. I’m sure they were just worried about you, and didn’t know how to come and talk to you, but it was wrong how they went about things. And being that they are adults, they should’ve had the maturity to come to you if they had any concern.
If your don’t want to move out, I think you should approach them on it. Let them know you are 20 years old and you know about sex. And just b/c you haven’t chosen to do it yet, someday you will. And they have to realize you are an adult, and to treat your privacy as such. Move your journal and hide it in a new spot. Make your next journal entry say "stop reading my journal-DAD, this is an invasion of privacy and I know your doing it. This makes me uncomfortable, that my own thoughts, fantasies, and dreams cant even be kept to myself". It should be fine after that. But if they want to continue to question you and your judgment (which seems to be pretty reasonable thus far), then you should really consider moving out of their house.
Good luck.
You’re 20 years old. Confront him, or move out. Either way this unacceptable behavior on his part will cease.
Try to calmly ask your step dad about it have your mom there too and (you bf if you like) He may just be worried about you.Ask him to stop doing it,ask your Mom if she knows that he is doing it,then work from there. I hope things turn out ok.:)
You keep contradicting yourself… First you say you’re a virgin & then you talk about your sexual relationships. Which is it? And if your dad has read your diary, then yes, you’ve given him reason to doubt you.
And, a word of wisdom, never, ever write anything that you don’t want other people to read. Never. Technically, if someone hears a rumor, you could lie your way out of it. But written documents are proof.
If you feel that your privacy is being invaded, get a job and move out.
Your 20, If you don’t like then move out. I agree your to old for that stuff now but when you were a teen. I have no issue with it. A parent has to know what their kids are up to. I didn’t know doesn’t cut it when the police show up or you get a phone call saying your child is dead.
Move out of the house… If you must remain, get a lock box, by Sentry or something. I wouldnt waste my time talking to them. Sounds like your stepdad is a real creeper. Who would read about their daughters sexual experiences. Thats just fucking weird. He probably is getting off on it.
I know its hurtful to you and he probably wishes he never invaded your privacy.
He doesnt have as much interest as you think. From this day forward. Forget it and move on…it will do you both good..
I guess you’ll just have to get over the embaressing part because he already knows. Nothing can change that. I don’t understand why you can approach your mom and say, "Mom, I don’t want you to think that I’m a slut and people talk about me. I had a journal and your husband read it, that’s how he got that information." Then hide your journal better, or better yet, make up totally false entries.